la vérité

Paris and I have spent most of the summer fighting; not in the dramatic blowout kind of way, but rather in passive-aggressive tiffs.

I was so eager to return to New York when I did in June. I was ready to speak a language fluently and without an accent, be surrounded by the majority of everyone I know and love, and spend my days in the familiar ways of home. I embraced those rushed, two and a half weeks with the social busyness that I’d been missing. Everything was the same but different, as expected.

In Syracuse and in New York City, two places which I’d once lived, I stayed in hotels. I played tour guide with nostalgic wisdom instead of current knowledge. I voluntarily spent more time in Midtown Manhattan than I otherwise would have, noticing sights I used to rush past without a second glance—the New York Public Library, the International Center of Photography, The Edison Hotel.

Then, I dove head first into a new daily grind in Paris. I became overwhelmed with finishing school, and moving apartments, and transitioning from a grad student life shared with a handful of American expats to the life of a Parisian intern, adjusting to a foreign work environment and a smaller friend group (being that so many fellow grad students have since returned to the States). In so many ways, it’s been even more challenging than the stressful academics parts of pursuing a master’s abroad.

And yet, I realize it’s not entirely this beautiful city’s fault. The month began so well, but it was last weekend that truly proved it to me--what with a successful surprise birthday party, a friendly Cinema en Plein Air picnic, and an unexpected phone call from home. When I take a deep breath and enjoy it, life in Paris is more full than I ever could have imagined. Thank god for taking chances.

Such are the ebbs and flows of being an expat, I suppose. Realizing it’s been a year since your Bon Voyage party in New York and falling more and more in love on each stroll through your new Parisian neighborhood just encourages the articulation of feeling.

I like to think it's still okay to be a little restless, to seek even more fulfillment in a sea of happy imperfections though. That's probably why I jumped at the opportunity to attend the Media Evolution conference. From tonight on, I'll be spending my week getting reinvigorated with inspiration in Malmö, Sweden. I'm excited to share my experience with you when I get back.