allons-y

About one year ago today, I was very unhappy. I felt embarrassingly restless in New York and regettably dissatisfied with work. Professionally I knew where I was coming from and which direction I wanted to go in, but I couldn't determine how it was I was going to get there... let alone "who" I eventually wanted to be.

I did know I missed Modern Foreign Language and the multicultural richness it had brought to my life though. So, graduate school occurred to me. I searched: global communications, and serendipitously found the program I'm currently enrolled in. In between, of course, I went through the motions of signing up, studying for, and taking the GREs, asking for recommendation letters, filling out applications, applying for financial aid, and moving home to save even more money.

I also wrote more than one "statement of purpose." And no matter how idealistic it sounds, I still want to change the world for the better.

This morning I left my 20-square-meter studio, descended the six flights of stairs, and walked for ten minutes until I reached my neighborhood market street. I breathed in the crisp autumn air, listened to the sing-songy conversations between the vendors and shoppers, smelled the cheese, and the bread, and the fresh fruits and vegetables. Shamelessly, I even tasted a few sips of red wine.

But do you want to know my favorite part of all of it? I realized I was happy... I am. I miss my friends and my family every moment of every day (I even miss the city of New York more than I ever thought possible) and yet, I am certain this is exactly where I'm meant to be. I'm pursuing a masters degree I am thoroughly passionate about and I've taken advantage of the opportunity to study abroad again. Although I'm not naive enough to believe the challenges of fulfillment are behind me, the now feels more right than ever. And that, my darlings, really is a wonderful thing. It just might be the difference between going forward and simply moving along.