strong heart, sore ass

After three whole weeks of bus-riding bliss, he told me he didn't want to sit with me anymore. "Good, I want to sit with other people anyway," I'd said in response. I was crushed, and seven years old. Thus began my failed relationship streak.

I'm mostly kidding, but it is true I've been broken up with more than once. I like to think it's because I'm a part of the hopeful bunch. Still, even when you're not 100% into it (or the relationship = being school bus buddies), it hurts. Trust me, I know.

But, according to Smitten, break-ups come with perks too. Most of the ten are just funny, but my favorite two truths are: "Everyone reminds you of how beautiful, smart, funny, and overall great you are," (case in point) and "You can fall in love again. And you will!"In the gap of time between point A and B, I become the queen of distraction; I like to bombard my schedule with friend dates, weekend getaways, and family time. Doing so forces me to enjoy myself even as my heart aches. Eventually, I've found, the pain stops and the fun continues. 

Amy Spencer of The Life Optimist even has a list of 10 things all singles must do (in addition to these 36 experiences "every singleton should savor.") I can check off nearly every one--ahem, traveling alone and not coming home at night--but the most important to-do in particular, learning how to take even more care of myself, is and will forever be a work in progress.

Until this past December, I've never really understood how people maintain a regular workout routine. Now I get it. It's not about toning up, slimming down, or even staying fit, it's about getting stronger. And I don't mean physically. 

For as weak as we sometimes feel, we are incredibly resilient creatures. Practicing yoga, taking the stairs, dancing the night away, running towards the sunrise, has taught me that. It feels good to stretch, sweat, and see results, knowing that you did it all for you. Then this goodness spills over into the rest of your day. The magical combination of endorphins and confidence in your abilities makes truly living and loving again a habit. And before you know it, you're better than fine... you're planning for the best Valentine's Day yet with four great friends.

Words by D. Alvarez, Photos by K. Ottomanelli